“How do you do it?”...

Me and my trusty horse Sundance, “Sunny”. Photo taken by Nicole Catherine Photos

Over the last year, I’ve been getting this question a lot. “How do you do it?”...

Just over a year ago, I turned my very small, very private, social media accounts into a public space of sharing. I’ve shared what my life looks like owning a horse ranch. I’ve shared about starting my own business and quitting my corporate job. I’ve shared about my health challenges, wins, and overall generally chaotic thoughts and mishaps.

But I still get asked how all of these things come together quite often.

But unfortunately, I have no fucking clue how they come together.

The thing about intuition or foresight is it's almost near impossible to turn on yourself.

You’ll have a vision of what you want, but won’t be sure how to get there. Or you’ll see opportunities open and unfold that you know you want to access, but you don’t know where they will take you.

It’s easy to project meaning, purpose, or direction onto things you’re removed from. Our brains take the available information, package all of the details we’re receiving, and come to a logical conclusion. It’s survival. Working in our favor to dissect reason out of the behaviors of others…but having an understanding of our own self?? Forget it.

Not even a masters degree and five years of therapy has led to a clear understanding of my own sense of direction.

Here’s the root of my own personal issue: I know what kind of life I want, but I’m not tied to a single way of getting there. As previously mentioned, also known as the “know what you want, but won’t be sure how to get there” affliction.

I know my greatest sense of self comes from caring for animals. I know I am passionate about creating good energy. I know I do not want to be stuck working for corporations and institutions my whole life. I know I’m creative, hard working and smart. And I know I crave independence and self-actualization…

But what does that mean when it comes to creating a source of income?

Every day, I wake up and put one foot in front of the other. I just keep moving. I just keep working. But I have no clue which of the 10 things I tackle that day will lead to the next door to open.

Will today’s self-employment project lead to a big paycheck? Will this video I post go viral? Will this partnership be the thing that makes me crawl back to a normal job?

The other day I was listening to a podcast. It’s a staple of my morning barn chores to multi-task and feel a sense of profound self-importance while I shovel the horse shit. This particular day featured a brilliantly engaging conversation with the woman known as the “Psychic of Wall Street”. Her name is Laura Day and beyond being left with a genuinely interesting and impactful listening session I left the episode with a big takeaway: there's a fucking Psychic of Wall Street.

Wall Street! The metaphorical epicenter of glass ceilings. The place where the world’s financial destiny is captained. The allusive capital of capitalism that embarrassingly I am just now realizing I’m not sure if I know if it’s a real place or just some figurative man cave we collectively agree definitely exists.

Regardless…it’s an important place. Filled with important people who do things of great importance.

And they have a designated Psychic.

Look, I too would like to know how people do it. How we go from barely making it to thriving. How we choose the one thing we want to dedicate our lives to that also happens to make us money. How we stare down the face of choices all day long and know which ones are small or meaningless, and which ones will shove us on to an entirely new path.

How may be the real million dollar question. Because if we each figure out our how, maybe the million dollars, or whatever your version of “the end goal” will finally come with it.